Chapter 8

“OMGAWD!!!” the 2 girls screamed.

“All this happened in just ONE night?”

The next day, Yuri was over at her friends’ apartment again, and unavoidably, facing interrogation from the duo. She sat on the floor and leaned back against the wall as the two girls stared at her, hands on their hips.

“What about Hyomin?” Yoona asked.

Yuri looked at the floor and rubbed her head. “I’ll have to end it tonight.”

“You sure about this? You’re ending a ONE YEAR relationship for someone whom you had only ONE DATE with?!”

Yuri narrowed her eyes and stared at Sooyoung.

Sooyoung caught onto it. “Oh. Right. Because it’s THE Jessica Jung.”

“Hyomin will be devastated,” Yoona said, worriedly. “You’re her pillar of support. She’s totally in love with you, Yuri. And she’s one heck of an awesome girlfriend to you.”

Yuri sighed, rubbing her forehead. “It’s not just because of Jessica that I’m doing this. My presence will just endanger Minnie’s career, which means her whole life to her. It will endanger her own AND her group’s image, if she gets caught. And I’m tired of going out and pretending we’re just friends. I don’t want to have to meet her at secret places all the time. Plus, I hardly even see her nowadays. I don’t see this going anywhere.”

The 2 girls listened intently and pondered on Yuri’s words.

“To be honest, I’ve been contemplating it even before Sica came back.” Yuri added. “Do we have to hide even when we’re in our 40s? Or even 50s?”

Yoona sighed. “I see your point.”

“Life’s hard if you’re gay or dating a celebrity. You have it twice as bad, my friend.” Sooyoung said.

Yuri nodded. “I should have known from the start.”

“So how are you gonna break it out to her?” Yoona asked.

Before Yuri could respond, her phone vibrated on the table. Though it made only a slight noise, it captured the attention of 3 pairs of eyes. Yuri shot the two vultures a death glare and hurriedly grabbed her phone from the table, in case the birds got to them first. Immediately, the duo crept up behind her.

“Ever heard of the word ‘privacy’?”

The duo ignored Yuri’s sarcastic remark and continued staring at the phone. Sooyoung reached over and tapped on it, effectively opening the message.

“YA!”

“Kwon Seobang, I read your note. You must have had a hard time trying to wake---“

“YA YA Choi Sooyoung, don’t read it out loud!” Yuri snapped.

“…me up. I’m still getting adjusted to Seoul’s timing and I was really tired after last night. Thanks for breakfast!” Yoona continued where Sooyoung left off.

“Calm down Yuri, calm down. They’re kids, they’re just kids.” Yuri mumbled as she kept her phone.

“Sooo…..” Sooyoung said, looking almost too excited.

“What.”

“Did anything happen last night?”

“The hell you talking about?”

“OH HO KWON YUL! You. Know. What. I. Am. Talking. About.” Sooyoung poked Yuri’s shoulder with each word. “Now I know why you didn’t respond to our texts and calls! Busy in bed huh?”

“What!? Noooo! We just slept together that’s all!” Yuri yelled in response, and then suddenly realized that it might have justified Sooyoung’s accusations. But it was too late. The two girls were both staring back at her wide eyed.

“Uhhh I mean---“

“AH HAH!! I KNEW IT!” Sooyoung stood up and pointed a finger in her face.

Yoona glared at the tanned girl. “YURI!! How could you? You haven’t officially ended things with Hyomin! That’s cheating! And how could Sica allow that too? I’m so disappointed in the both of you!!”

Yuri shook her head and hands frenetically. “That wasn’t what I meant!! We literally, slept together. As in BESIDE each other! Not WITH!” Yuri desperately tried to explain.

The duo squinted their eyes at the flustered girl. “Uh huh.”

“I’m dead serious! OMGAWD!” Yuri raised her hands up in despair.

“Alright, alright. We’re just playing with you!” Sooyoung stated while patting Yuri’s back.

Yuri sighed and dropped her head.

“Really nothing?” Yoona looked at the girl with an eyebrow slightly raised.

The sight of Yoona’s face caused Yuri to groan inwardly. “NOTHING, YOONG. We slept, and then I woke up, cooked breakfast for her and left her house to meet 2 friends whose lives now appear to be in great danger.” Yuri said through gritted teeth and cracked her knuckles.

“Chill Yuri. We get it.” Sooyoung quickly dismissed the topic with a raise of her hand.

Yuri sighed, tired of playing around. “Fine.” She slumped back against the couch. “Now I’ve got tonight to worry about.”

“Ah Yuri, Yuri. What would you do without us?”

-----

Yuri took a deep breath as she stood at the door to the apartment that she and Hyomin shared. These two days have been so nerve wrecking, she desperately wished for a peace of mind. Remembering what Sooyoung and Yoona told her, she clutched her chest and braced herself as she inserted her key.

“Remember, cut to the chase. No beating about the bush. And don’t even mention Sica. She really doesn’t need to know.”

Turning the key, she opened the door. Almost instantly, she could smell the inviting scent of Korean food. She missed it.

“Do not reminisce! Happy memories will only make you falter!”

“You’re home!” Hyomin, who was peering out of the kitchen, rushed to the door and embraced Yuri, giving her a peck on the cheek.

“The hug should not exceed 5 seconds. That’s a love hug.”

Yuri did a mental countdown. After about 3 seconds, she broke off the hug. “Minnie, I have something to tell you…”

Hyomin smiled. “Let’s talk about it through dinner. I’m almost done.” she said as she disappeared into the kitchen.

“You will definitely be unable to tell her before dinner, so just have dinner with her and drop the bomb then. That way, you get to eat good home-cooked food at least. Pretty good meal for a breakup if you ask me.”

Yuri silently cursed at Sooyoung’s accurate prediction.

“Sit down. I’ll be right back!” Hyomin yelled from the kitchen. Moments later, she appeared with several plates in her hands, and placed them neatly on the table. Yuri couldn’t help but notice how much effort Hyomin had put in for the night’s dinner. They were all her favorite dishes, the way she liked them, which came as no surprise for Yuri. Despite her busy schedule, Hyomin would sometimes take time to whip up special meals for Yuri, paying attention to Yuri’s slight pickiness.

If only Hyomin was a bad girlfriend, it would make the break up easier. But she was far from that, and it made Yuri even more uneasy now.

Soon after, all the dishes were served. “I hope you like it. I specially made it a tad healthier ‘cos I know how much my Yuri cares for her health.” Hyomin said it with such an innocent, sincere, and almost childlike expression, that it created a sinking feeling in Yuri’s heart. It was guilt, it was sympathy, and it was self-blame all mixed in one.

“I will.” Yuri smiled to mask her uneasiness.

Hyomin smiled shyly in response.

Damn it. This will be hard.

Taking off her apron, Hyomin settled on the seat next to hers. “I’ll feed you.”

“By the way, you probably can’t stop her from getting all girlfriend-like on you. I mean, DUH.”

“Say ahh...” Hyomin brought a spoonful of food to Yuri’s mouth. Yuri chewed on it for a few moments, but she was too focused on dropping the bomb to notice how good it tasted.

Hyomin looked at Yuri inquisitively. “How’s it?”

“Yuri?”

“Hmmm?”

“The food. Is it good?”

The girl’s eyes were hopeful. “Oh, it’s great.” and indeed it was, Yuri always enjoyed Hyomin’s cooking. It was the one thing she always craved for, especially during the long days and nights she spent studying. In fact, Yuri’s cooking was directly inspired by Hyomin.

“You’re the biggest fool to let someone like Hyomin go, but do what you have to.”

“Great? That’s not good enough.” Hyomin said with her finger tapping at her cheek, asking for a gesture of thanks.

Yuri was reluctant. “But my mouth’s dirty.”

Hyomin ignored the excuse and continued waiting for her thank you kiss.

Yuri remained solemn. “Minnie, let’s just eat.”

Bewildered by Yuri’s sudden coldness, Hyomin leaned forward and looked at the girl in concern. “Is something wrong? You seem a little out of sorts today. Long day at school?”

This was her cue.

Yuri inhaled deeply. “I need… to tell you something.”

Hyomin kept silent, waiting for Yuri to complete her sentence. The atmosphere was tense; Yuri could feel her own eyes getting wet at the thought of breaking the girl’s heart. This sweet, kind-hearted girl that she couldn’t be with.

“Judging from you, it’s gonna be hard to drop the bomb, so just take deep breaths and remain as calm as possible.”

Yuri inhaled deeply again. “I…” she played with her fingers to distract herself from the overwhelming emotions, but the tears were already at the brim of her eyes. “I don’t think… we should be together anymore.”

She looked at Hyomin, the girl didn’t say a word or move an inch. “I think we should just go back to being friends--”

“Wait… Stop.”

Yuri paused on order. She looked at Hyomin, who had her head down. The girl clutched her chest and took a deep breath, and then looked up at Yuri. She was teary-eyed. The few words had already dealt their blow on the girl.

Yuri hated herself right there and then.

“I’m sorry…”

Hyomin silenced her with a hug. “Yuri… Tell me what happened?” The girl paused to catch a breath, “We can solve this…”

“No mentioning of Sica.”

“Nothing happened… I just don’t think we should go on.”

The girl gripped Yuri tighter. “Is it me? I know I haven’t been around much but--”

Yuri pulled out of the embrace and held onto her hands. “Listen, Minnie.” Her teary eyes met the eyes of the other girl. “There is nothing wrong with you. I’m just not good for you. I’m not good for your career, as long as I’m around I’m putting you at risk.” This was the best reason; the least painful reason that Hyomin needed to know. Yuri could never bear to deliver the cold hard truth to the girl.

“I don’t want to do that to you. I know how much it means to you.”

“We won’t be found out,” she sobbed, “I’ll be careful I promise…”

“Not just that…” Feeling her tears roll down her cheeks, Yuri took another deep breath and continued. “I hardly got to see you the past 8 months. I tried to empathize with your situation… but I don’t want to have to go through that… all my life.”

“I-I’m sorry… I-I…”

“I don’t want to make you choose between your dreams and me, Minnie... Do you understand that?”

Hyomin fell silent. Her pillar of support was leaving her and she was helpless about it. “Please…” She struggled for breath and clutched at her chest as it started to hurt. “Don’t do this Yuri… I need you…” she said between sobs, choking on her tears. “Please…”

The sight of Hyomin in this state brought more tears to her eyes. She hated the fact that she was extremely soft hearted. She reached forward and hugged the girl.

“Remember, do not go all soft like you always do. It’s Sica or Hyomin. You can’t have both.”

“I’m sorry… I’m really really sorry. Please understand…”

“Yuri… Please… Please take it back… I love you…” Hyomin was crying harder now. Yuri could feel the fragile girl crumbling in her arms. Stroking the girl’s hair, she was speechless. It pained her.

“I’ll stay with you… Just tonight.” she mentally slapped herself after saying that, but she knew she had to do something for Hyomin, she still deeply cared for the girl.

-----

That night, the two girls sat on the bed, locked in an embrace for a long time.

“Yuri…”

“Hmmm?”

“Was I a bad girlfriend?”

“No,” Yuri said, stroking the girl’s back. “You were great.”

Hyomin smiled a little, as a tear rolled down her cheek. “So were you.”

“Thank you.”

“If… if I was still Park Sunyoung, then it wouldn’t… come down to this.”

Yuri pondered on the girl’s words. Deep down inside, Yuri knew she would still have left Hyomin, or anyone else for Jessica. “But if you were still Park Sunyoung, then I wouldn’t have met you on that day.”

“That day…” Hyomin smiled. “I still remember that day clearly.”

“Me too.”

Hyomin hugged onto her tighter. “I’m sorry for being selfish, Yuri. I took you for granted… I was so busy with my career and…”

“It’s okay. That’s what I love about you.” Yuri smiled. “And I don’t want you to give that up. Ever.”

“Be a great singer, okay?”

Hyomin nodded.

The rest of the night kept its silence for the faint sounds of Hyomin’s sobs. She continued hugging the tanned girl tightly, refusing to let go, fearing that she may never be in those arms again.

As Yuri slowly fell asleep, she buried her face in Yuri’s neck, taking in Yuri’s familiar comforting scent, and indulging in the girl’s warm embrace, for the last time.

-----

Chapter 9

Hyomin stared at the girl beside her as she slept. She had been crying the whole night and was exhausted, but she didn’t want to waste her time sleeping. Fighting the sleepiness, Hyomin laid on her side, refusing to take her eyes from the girl’s face. She dreaded the thought of waking up to find her gone.

Why does the world make it so hard for us to be together?

If only she wasn’t a celebrity. If only she wasn’t a girl. If only Yuri wasn’t a girl.

But she understood Yuri’s situation, and she loved the girl too much.

She knew she had to let go.

(flashback)

Hyomin and Yuri had met in the weirdest circumstance ever. It was one of those rare mornings Hyomin had woken up late, and she was in a desperate rush to get to a photoshoot with one of the biggest photographers in Seoul.

I don’t think there are any available taxis at this hour. I’m going to get killed by the members for being late! She thought as she ran out of the apartment building. Just as she stepped out of the premises, she saw a taxi approaching from a distance. “OMGAWD it’s my lucky day!” she mumbled to herself as she raised her arm out to flag the vehicle. The taxi came to a stop, but as she opened the door, a girl appeared from behind, crossed into her path and entered the cab.

“YA! This is my taxi!” Hyomin exclaimed as she scrambled into the vehicle right after the girl.

“No it isn’t. I’m tired of people mysteriously appearing in front of me and stealing my taxis. I’m taking this one.” the girl replied without even looking at her.

Hyomin’s head was filled with thoughts of the photoshoot and she was becoming flustered, but upon remembering that her image as a singer was at stake, she kept her composure. “I’m sorry Miss, but please please pleaseeeee let me have this taxi! I am terribly late for my photoshoot and if I don’t reach on time my life will be at stake!” she tried to show her humblest expression possible.

The girl turned to face her and hesitated for a while. Her expression seemed to soften a little. “F-fine!” she said and then suddenly leaned forward towards Hyomin, much to her surprise. “W-What are you doing?! Stay back!”

The girl sighed and continued leaning forward. Hyomin closed her eyes in fear.

Do I really have to sacrifice my first kiss for a taxi?? Arghhhh fine, better than being late.

In the midst of worrying, she heard the sound of the door closing behind her. She opened one eye. The girl was back at her side of the seat. “Sir, could you please bring us to…” the girl turned and looked at Hyomin.

“M-Myeongdong, please.” Hyomin uttered to the driver. She turned over to look at the girl, who was leaning her head against the window. Feeling relieved and guilty, she asked, “Were you rushing somewhere too?”

“Yea, to school. But I guess I’ll just skip the first class.”

“I-I’m sorry…”

“That’s alright. I wouldn’t have made it anyway. And I wouldn’t want to be the cause of your death.” she replied with a smile. Hyomin felt her face getting hotter for no reason. She smiled back shyly. “Thank you for helping me.”

“You’re welcome.”

Hyomin smiled again. The girl seemed like a kind person. She looked like a kind person too.

The girl rubbed the back of her head. “Well… I guess I should thank you too, I always disliked this class. But ‘cos of you I now have a chance to skip it.”

And again, Hyomin responded with a smile. The girl was kinda cute, in a dorky way.

“You really like smiling don’t you?” the girl asked.

“Huh? No! I mean, not that I don’t like smiling, but…” Hyomin paused.

“Hahaha. Relax, I’m just kidding with you.” the girl said. “My name’s Yuri, by the way. Kwon Yuri. Nice to meet you.” she extended out a hand.

Hyomin stared at her hand for a moment, and then reached out for the handshake. “Sunyoung—“ she paused. “I mean… Hyomin.”

“And Sunyoung’s your…” Yuri paused. “Alter ego?”

Hyomin giggled. “Park Sunyoung’s my birth name. I go by Hyomin now.”

“Ahhh, I thought you looked familiar. Hmmm, T-ara?”

Hyomin smiled. She was happy that her group was recognized despite having just debuted.

“Y-you’re doing that smiling thing again!” Yuri pointed at her while backing towards the window. Her fearful expression was so exaggerated it was obvious that she was faking.

“You’re teasing me!” Hyomin laughed.

“Hehehe. Wow it’s my lucky day. I can brag to everyone at school that I shared a taxi with Hyomin. It’s not every day that you get to share a taxi with a celebrity! It must be fate!” Yuri declared happily. “Wait.” she reached into her pocket and took out her phone. “I’ll need proof! Can I take a picture with you?”

Even though she wasn’t wearing any makeup, Hyomin couldn’t bring herself to reject Yuri. She did owe the girl a favor. She nodded, and Yuri moved closer to her, holding her phone up in one hand. “Smile! Do your creepy smiling thing!” Yuri said. It earned her a giggle instead.

“There! That’s a genuine smile. Looks great!” Yuri showed her phone to Hyomin. She was right; the photograph turned out looking extremely natural. “I’ll definitely keep this picture for good. It’s not every day that you get to meet a celebrity and take a beautiful selca with her. It must be fate!”

The car suddenly came to a stop. “Miss, we’re here.” the driver said.

“Oh, alright…” Hyomin took out her wallet.

“Don’t. I’ll take care of it. You’re gonna be late! Go go!” Yuri reached over to open the door and pushed Hyomin out of the taxi.

“Thank you. Can I treat you to dinner sometime to thank you for today?”

“Sure.” Yuri grinned.

“HYOMIN! YOU’RE LATE!!” a voice came from behind.

“I-I’ll see you Yuri!” Hyomin waved goodbye to her and dashed into the building. As she stepped through the doors, she cursed at her forgetfulness. Rats! I didn’t even get her number…

She ran out immediately. Unfortunately, the taxi had already left.

Crap…

“HYOMIN!!!”

“Coming!” she yelled as she ran back into the building.

-----

“Okay! It’s a wrap! Good job everyone!” the photographer announced.

The photoshoot had gone smoothly, but it had also taken a whole day. Hyomin was fatigued, and she was famished. All she wanted to do was grab dinner, and then head straight home. After bidding goodbye to her fellow members, she exited the building to hail a taxi. She smiled as she recalled the incident with Yuri that morning.

I wonder if I’ll ever see her again…

Fortunately for her, it was late and taxis were abundant at this hour. As a taxi came to a stop in front of her, she opened the door.

Only to have someone intercept at the last minute again.

“YA!” she screamed from outside the taxi, incredulous that something like this could happen twice in a day.

Suddenly, a hand from inside grabbed onto hers and dragged her into the vehicle.

“What are you doing!!” she tried to resist, but the person was too strong. She eventually ended up inside the taxi.

If she didn’t expect that something like that could happen twice in a day, she definitely didn’t expect the same thing to happen with the same person.

“It’s not every day that you get to share a taxi with a celebrity, take a perfect picture with them, and then pick up their missing wallet. It must be fate!”

“Yuri?!”

“You left this in the taxi this morning.” The girl smiled while waving the wallet in her hand.

Hyomin looked at her for a moment, and then at the wallet in her hand. “Thank you…”

“Don’t mention it.” Yuri smiled.

At that instant, it was as if her fatigue disappeared. Hyomin smiled back, grateful to the girl. As she kept her wallet in her bag, she suddenly realized something. “Were you waiting for me all this while?”

Yuri shook her head and touched her earlobe.

Her instincts told her the girl was lying. “You were, weren’t you?”

“Hehehe.” Yuri smiled and scratched the back of her head sheepishly.

That smile…

“T-thank you…” A rush of blood went up her head, and she couldn’t figure out why.

“Hungry?” Yuri questioned.

Hyomin nodded her head.

“Me too. Let’s get food! Sir, could you bring us to--”

Twice in a day, the girl named Kwon Yuri had somehow saved her. As the taxi drove them to their destination, she kept her eyes on the girl as she went on about how she bragged to her schoolmates about the photograph; her eyes sparkling, her gaze kind and warm.

Maybe it’s really fate after all...

(end of flashback)

-----

It was Monday morning, and Yuri had woken up with Hyomin beside her. The night before had taken a toll on the girl, Yuri had spent the entire time trying to calm her down, that it tired her out. She had single-handedly broken the girl and she could only blame herself for it. As she looked at the sleeping girl, she felt an immeasurable amount of worry. She wondered if the girl would be able to take it.

Despite that, Yuri knew she couldn’t go on in the relationship any longer. Not when she had all these feelings for Jessica. It would have been unfair to all three of them.

Yuri brushed her hair aside and took a good look at the girl’s face. She silently wished that her Minnie would be okay. Seeing that Hyomin was still deep in slumber, Yuri took the opportunity to scramble around the house and pack some of her belongings. She took the necessities; clothes, stuff for school, her juicer and the batch of Ma. She decided that she’ll come back another day for the rest. Doing a quick double check of the items in her bag, she realized that her phone was nowhere to be found.

“Looking for this?” she turned around to find Hyomin standing by the doorway of the bedroom, holding her phone in her hand.

“You’re awake?” Yuri said as she approached her. “Yes I was…” She reached out for the phone but Hyomin didn’t budge.

“Who’s Sica?” she said, while tilting the item in her hand.

The name sounded alarms to Yuri. “Just an old friend from high school.” she said, as calmly as possible.

“An old friend who calls you seobang?”

Yuri gulped. “Yes.” keeping her composure, she continued, “You looked through my messages, didn’t you?”

“So she was with you the night you dozed off at Sooyoung’s place and didn’t pick up my call? And you made breakfast for her?”

“Why did you look through my messages?” Yuri retorted. Lying wasn’t her forte.

“Is she the reason?”

“What are you talking about? Give it back.” Yuri was slowly getting frustrated.

“Just answer me.”

Exhaling, Yuri shook her head. “No.” She blatantly lied, but she decided that Hyomin didn’t need to know this now. Acting as indifferent as possible, “My phone, please.” she said, carrying a tinge of anger in her tone.

Hyomin handed her the phone, and then grabbed onto Yuri’s hand when she reached for it. “You’re lying. Look me in the eye and tell me!”

Yuri huffed. “I’m leaving.” She needed to leave the place now, before her lie gets exposed.

Hyomin immediately grabbed onto the girl’s arm. “Wait! I-I’m sorry... I… I believe you. I didn’t mean to look… I woke up and you weren’t beside me and…”

“It’s alright.” Yuri replied without looking at her. Seeing Hyomin like that only made her feel worse.

“You don’t have to move out, there’s another room if you want to—“

“We talked about this last night.” Yuri interrupted and faced the girl. She grabbed onto her arms, and said, “Listen Minnie, you have to learn to be your own support, you hear me? You cannot rely on me anymore. You just need time, and you need me away from you. You WILL be okay. And when that time comes, I hope I can see you again.” Yuri managed to say. Her tears were threatening to fall again as she looked at the helpless girl.

“Just don’t… disappear from my life…” Hyomin sobbed.

“I won’t, I promise.” Yuri held Hyomin’s cheeks in her hands and wiped off her tears with her thumbs. “Remember what I said last night?”

Hyomin nodded slightly, emotions running high. The conversation from last night, the thing about letting go, it didn’t make sense to her now. She didn’t want Yuri to leave at all. She just wanted Yuri by her side.

Yuri smiled. “I’ll be going off now.” She walked to the door, and then turned around. She wanted to take another look at the girl.

The first girlfriend. Her cooking. Her clumsiness. The secret meetings at the park. The times we hid from reporters. The first time we kissed. The taxi stealing incident.

Fate.

I’ll miss you, Minnie.

Dropping her bag, Yuri walked towards her and hugged the girl tightly, tears streaming down her face.

Hyomin buried herself in Yuri’s neck, sobbing.

“Promise me you’ll be okay. You MUST be okay.” Yuri said. She needed the assurance.

“I… will…” she said between sobs.

“I… have… to go…”

“Just a little more… Please…”

“Take care, Minnie.” Yuri kissed the girl on the forehead and hastily left.

Leaving a devastated Hyomin on the ground, crying.